urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane This is my inside... El_Shane 2007-03-29T01:28:48Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:4037 2007-03-29T01:28:48Z 2007-03-29T01:28:48Z TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me Literally, I mean!<br /><br />Dude was talking on the radio the other day about a woman in El Salvadore or summit like that who drugged her husband, stabbed him to death, then cut him up and fried him in a skillet. I don't think she ate him, but yeah. Anyways, he then asked Would you rather be fried or BBQ'd? And It got me thinking... how should I be cooked?<br /><br />Let's face it... I don't have too much meat on my bones. Well, none that you've seen any time soon. My ass is probably the most bountiful location for a nice slab of Shane. Everyone wants a piece of my hot ass, I know, but for now lets focus on my meat in general. (God I love innuendos)<br /><br />Hmm... we could try some Shane Stew perhaps? Carve out my insides, set some water on boil and throw in a neckbone for flavor. Cubed Shane would probably be choice for stew. Throw in a few potatoes, celery, carrots, and corn! Delicious!<br /><br />Due to the lack of meat it may be hard to fry me. We could try a Filet 0' Shane, then? We could go two routes with this:<br />1. Breaded Shane and Chips or<br />2. Stir Fried Shane<br /><br />The Filet O' Shane would be best choice for the Breaded Shane and Chips because the filet's going to be a little thin. Batter me up in raw eggs and roll me in crumbs. I suggest Ritz Crackers. Lots of flavor and very absorbant. I don't really care for your health at this point... mainly because you're eating me, so lets go for full flavor and start melting some butter or margarine in a frying pan instead of olive or sesame oil. If ya like your victim a little bloody still, I'd fry myself up on a higher heat. That way you can sear in the flavor without cooking the inside too fast. Just check regularly until your preference of color/bloodyness shows. For those who like a fully cooked Shane, cook me on a medium setting. Your choice of herbs, but I recommend at least some seasoning salt and pepper.<br /><br />Stir Fried Shane is a bit easier to make. Begin by melting some butter in a large frying pan. Start sautee-ing your choice of veggies. I'd go with Onions, Garlic, Fresh Greenbeans, Carrots, and Celery. Lots of people like Bell Peppers in their stir fry. Please don't defame my body in such a way... I hate bell peppers. Want a hot chili pepper instead? Fine by me.<br />After about 5 - 10 minutes go on and add a nice sized portion of sliced Shane Chunks. Fry with Soy Sauce until my meat is in your preferred color range. Serve over Rice or Chow Mein Noodles! Nothing like a cannibalistic feast oriental style!<br /><br />Check Back in a few days for more recipes! I'll try to cover Baked, BBQ'd, and Deep Fried Shane on a Stick!<br /><br />I'm one delicious Sumbitch! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:3656 2007-02-25T08:31:13Z 2007-02-25T08:31:13Z Just got home from Suckramento a few bits ago. My mom had a belly dance performance down there and I had to go to support her and all that. It's was pretty cool... nothin' like watchin partially naked (for the most part) hot chicks (no, I'm not calling my mom hot) dance around, show off their washboard stomachs and jiggle their jigglies all night.<br /><br />Well, I got a beer to drink and a new cd (Killswitch Engage) to put me to sleep.<br /><br />Nighty Night folkses. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:3572 2007-02-24T01:35:08Z 2007-02-24T01:35:08Z Killswitch Engage - My Curse Waddup Home skizzlets!? Yes, I be not dead. *flexes* fit as a fish and better smelling, too!<br />S'been awhile, I know... apologies to all. It hasn't been an act of ignoring nor avoidance... I dunno what was up. But here I be so... let's chill? Righteous.<br /><br />Shane-o de la Tauro urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:3184 2006-05-24T02:55:29Z 2006-05-24T02:55:29Z That's right. I'm updating my livejournal. You can thank Jess for that.<br />...<br /><br />Well, that's all for now. See you in another year, eh? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:2978 2005-11-06T21:46:34Z 2005-11-06T21:46:34Z and I find out that one of the coolest people I've known died. When I first saw some of your entries about someone named Alex that died I couldn't think of anyone I knew. Then I looked it up on The Union and I saw his picture and said, "Holy fuck...THAT Alex!?" That guy was awesome. I met him in Ms. Buzzini's class Jr. year. We only talked a couple times but whenever we did it was the kind of conversation you could look back on and think, "Man that would be a cool guy to hang out with." He barely knew me at all, but whenever we passed eachother in the halls he'd say hi and wave or something. And that's cool to me... A lot of people you don't really know from your classes will just ignore you in the halls and not even acknowledge your existence IN class, but he wasn't like that. <br />Lmao... at the end of the year in that class Ms. Buzzini made us do a presentation of our "talents" in front of the class. Alex made a video of himself playing the guitar. He started playing a kind of slow spanish sounding song you'd hear from Once apon a Time in Mexico, then all of a sudden he busted out singing in a spanish opera sounding voice. Man, that made me laugh so hard...<br /><br />So, RIP Alex... I barely knew you, but I could tell you were a great guy. Rock On wherever you are, man. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:2762 2005-07-03T04:13:04Z 2005-07-03T04:13:04Z (Ahem) Where was I?...Oh well let's skip to Lot with Sodom and Gommorah.<br /><br />K, so Lot and his family love god. Touching. Everyone else is bad... seeing any patterns yet? God sends down Two angels to tell Lot that god is going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. How bout now? This part is funny. Like, all the men from the city including the really young ones come to Lot's house because they found out about the angels... Ahaha so they come to Lot's house because they want to rape them! Man, bible stories can be fun! The angels escape, Lot and his family flees... the angels say dont look back, Lot's wife looks back... POOF God turns her into a pillar of salt... Deer and horses come from all around to see the spectacle and get one lick each. (K, I added that part)<br /><br />K, now onto Job. Not JOB like im getting a job, but Job sounding like Jobe. Anyways...<br /><br />Job loves god. Satan hates Job for loving god, God kills Job's 10 sons and daughters, all his cattle and sheep, takes away everything he loved, his friends turn their backs on him, and Job is struck with boils and other gross itchy bumps and stuff. All this so God can get a few bucks he made on a bet with Satan. Such a nice person this God is. But, to make up for it, Job gets 10 more children twice as much cattle, etc. Job is now happy again and loves god even more for his kindness... cuz 10 children you raised and cared for who died because u were being tested by a God who needs to prove himself to the devil are so easily made up for.<br /><br />I don't know what else to say. There's a lot LOT more I can go over, but all of them are just "miracles" that God caused to happen. The plagues, the Red Sea, The walls of Jericho... it goes on! How can there possibly be people who don't believe that dead people can be resurrected!? How can u not believe that men are made out of dirt, Or that there's an almighty presence living above us (or below us if ur in China)? There is irrefutable proof that these things happened, people... and it's called the Bible. Oh yeah. Men were visited by GOD when they wrote this book. <br /><br />So there may be SOME evidence here and there that men and animals evolve and stuff, but that's Satan talking! Pshh these people and their science and studies... and their bone findings, and their DNA testing, and their completely real and believable equations that have been proven... God did MIRACLES people! Oh, but don't believe in magic, it's not real, or it's the devil. Only a long time ago when god spoke to people could you do magic. Oh that man who spoke to god the other day is crazy! But it can happen! But if it does, those people are crazy so don't listen to them. What? You don't believe the exact same thing i do? *stab* I kill you in the name of God! Whoah, there's a whole bunch of u who don't believe what I do! *bomb* AHAHAHA! Kill the sacreligious bastards! God wants us to! He told me! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:2465 2005-07-03T02:41:52Z 2005-07-03T04:18:35Z I found a quote the other day that goes as such:<br /><br />"I long for the day when the world diagnoses religion as an epidemic of mental illness."<br /><br />I liked this quote and it got me thinking about the bible and some of its more... questionable events. Now I was raised very spiritually so I do have a fairly knowlegeable understanding of a lot of its stories.<br />Okay, now everyone grab your bibles that I know u keep close at hand...<br /><br />"In the beginning..."<br /><br />God made the heavens and the earth. Okay. He also made the animals, bugs, etc, w/e. Everything was perfect and harmonial. Lions shared dens with sheep, little boys can play with poisonous snakes... So god made these animals with large sharp killing jaws or deadly poisonous bites so they could all snuggle. And yeah they never used them because they all ate grass/fruit w/e. And who know's about dinosaurs?<br /><br />Then God created the first man, Adam. He grabbed some dirt, formed the body... and blew into its nostrils. Boom! Pure "evidence" that men really are dirt. Then after seeing all the daddy and mommy animals "together" Adam got horny and god stole some of his ribs and made a woman. True sacrifice. Eve.<br /><br />Now Almighty and Perfect God wants to test out his new playthings. Perfect God who is flawless and made perfectly flawless people out of dirt. Since he was so flawless and all he made a tree and told them not to eat from it. ALL these trees to eat from but not this one... (god snickers...) Que the talking snake telling Eve she'll be like god if she eats the fruit. Okay, so now these Perfect humans without flaw disobey god and eat the fruit. God's perfect creations made a mistake... which means they weren't perfect... which means... God... made a mistake? Henceforth all humans grow old and die and kill eachother and eat fruit and go crazy.<br /><br />*Intermission*<br /><br />Okay, so now there's this family and the dad's name is Noah. Now everyone else is bad because of the above paragraph. So God has Noah build an ark... and has two of EVERY kind of animal go aboard it... maybe it's just me but that has to be one big ass wooden box. No, people, it wasn't a boat... a big floating box. And once again the animals get all warm and cuddly with eachother.<br /><br />K, so blah blah blah 8 people survive the flood that covered THE ENIRE earth. Lots of incest insued. 352 years later there's lots of people again.<br /><br />I gotta go eat, so this is part one. Part two will be written later. Why am I writing all of this? I have no clue. Bible Studies are fun! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:2048 2005-07-02T21:52:16Z 2005-07-02T21:52:16Z Hola mi amigos!<br /><br />So I shall now proceed to commence in the telling of my summer events thus far.<br /><br />Well, on June 20-somethingth I went and took my behind the wheel driving test.... and I failed, so I'm still transportationless. But, even though it was suppose to be the start of my life and I had plans for right afterwards that would have made me happy at last and not cramped in this house full of stuff I care not for... It was made up for by my houseboat trip... and six cartons of Ben and Jerry's. Yeah, I went on a houseboat trip for a week with my dad, stepmom, and a guy they know from their "church." At first I was afraid that it was going to be like an intervention thing like what they do for people addicted to heroin or something... but instead of heroin it would be my lack of... "church"-going... ANYways, it wasn't like that. I had fun. I jet skiid...skied? ski-ed?... and surfed and wakesurfed and tubed and kneeboarded... good stuff. Oh and all the cartons of ice cream i bought from a gas station. I even got a tan! ...slightly. Let's just say that my stomach is now a little darker than my ass... which is an improvement! ...shut up.<br /><br />Good news: retaking my test on July 8th. This time I wont fail by one freakin mistake.<br /><br />Peace, suckahs!<br /><br />oh and i won't garuntee how many more times i'll update hehe. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:1815 2005-06-07T03:17:50Z 2005-06-07T03:17:50Z Cake - Jolene Yeah I really suck at the whole "asking out" thing. Well, actually... i've never had to do it before... but i still suck at it pretty badly. and dont gimme any of that, "awww, shaney!" crap. JUST ASKIN TO SEE A MOVIE DAMNIT! But i even failed at that... ahaha. It's sad really... while at the lake it was just me and my dad for a while, and when ur skiing, you need three people. One to drive, one to flag (waves a flag if the ski-er falls) and one to ski. Well, he's all "its okay, we'll just ask that group of girls over there." So im thinking, damn he's so at ease with it (asking strange, fairly attractive, girls in bikinis to come on a boat with a couple of strangers) that it's creepy! But I tow him over there on the Jet ski and he gets a girl to come with us! WTF! maybe it's just me... do i really have that low of self esteem? Or did he point a gun in her face!? God damn. yeah, it's just me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:1750 2005-06-07T03:08:24Z 2005-06-07T03:08:24Z Comance - Cake, duh... Haha from Cake's first CD. I just downloaded it today, never heard it before.<br /><br />Comanche<br /><br /><br />you need to straighten your posture and suck in your gut.<br />you need to pull back your shoulders and tighten your butt.<br />yeah, come comanche, comanche, comanche, commode.<br /><br /><br />if you want to have cities, you've got to build roads.<br />you need to find some new feathers and buy some new clothes.<br />just get rid of the antlers and lighten your load.<br /><br /><br />yeah, come comanche, comanche, comanche, commode.<br />yeah, if you want to have cities, you've got to build roads.<br />you need to straighten your posture and suck in your gut.<br />you need to pull back your shoulders and tighten your butt.<br /><br /><br />yeah, come comanche, comanche, comanche, commode.<br />ah, if you want to have cities,<br />yeah, if you want to have cities, no, if you want to have cities, you've got to build roads. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:1511 2005-06-06T03:07:54Z 2005-06-06T03:07:54Z my version of the mentioned song above...or below? Well, I had a pretty good weekend. Went to the lake on Saturday, which rocked. Jet Skis kick ass.<br /><br />Freakin sore today though...<br /><br />So this morning I woke up singing One of Us by Joan Osbourne. For those of you who dont know, it goes like this... "what if god was one of us... blue blue blue blue... Just a slob like one of us..."<br /><br />and anyways while takin a shower i sang it like this...<br /><br /><br />What if god was one of us?<br />Smoked a lot of Cannibus?<br />Blew himself up on a bus<br />because he's half Ira-ha-qiiii<br />brings blaphemers to their knees...<br /><br /><br />and Yeah, Yeah, God ha-As sex<br />and Yeah, Yeah, God masturbates]<br />and yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...<br /><br /><br />ahahaha... sheer brilliance... anyways i downloaded the sheet music so i can learn it and sing it at Mekka sometime... muahaha sweet. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:1206 2005-06-03T06:16:03Z 2005-06-03T06:16:03Z Im talkin Mozart, dude!<br /><br />Really, though. I'm learning "Air" on my piano and I can already play it fairly decently. I dont know why, but whenever i play it, i just feel better. I kinda fall into the music as i play it. The problem, though, is that I cant stop! When im done playing, i leave the keyboard and the music keeps playing in my head. I still hear it, and the more i hear it, the more i want to play it... big red marks are forming on my fingers from playing too much at a time. The song's like heroin.<br /><br />Today ended up being one of those days where i go through a bought of "depression". It doesn't happen too often, but when it does, i just dont know what to do. I usually just lay on my bed and listen to music until i fall asleep. Today though, i played my piano. All other songs i hated (even the ones im particularly good at) except for air. It made me happy for the time that i played it and until i sat back down at the computer... then everything was shitty again.<br /><br />This is one of those posts where i just write what im feeling, then i delete at a later time becuase i think it's the stupidest thing ever written. We shall see, but in the meantime im going to go back to my piano, then try to get some sleep. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:926 2005-06-03T02:16:16Z 2005-06-03T02:21:30Z ...guess Well, the entire lyrics are too long, so ill just put my favorite parts...<br /><br /><br />Damn it feels good to be a gangsta<br />A real gangsta-ass nigga plays his cards right<br />A real gangsta-ass nigga never runs his fuckin mouth<br />Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas don’t start fights<br /><br />And everythings cool in the mind of a gangsta<br />Cuz gangsta-ass niggas think deep<br />Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7<br />Cuz real gangsta ass niggas don’t sleep<br /><br />And all I gotta say to you<br />Wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin’, pussy-eatin’ prankstas<br />Cuz when the fry dies down what the fuck you gonna do<br />Damn it feels good to be a gangsta<br /><br />Real gangsta-ass niggas don’t talk much<br />All ya hear is the black from the gun blast<br />And real gangsta-ass niggas don’t run for shit<br />Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas can’t run fast<br /><br />Now when you in the free world talkin’ shit do the shit<br />Hit the pen and let the mothafuckas shank ya<br />But niggas like myself kick back and peep game<br />Cuz damn it feels good to be a gangsta<br /><br />Word. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:548 2005-06-01T00:54:57Z 2005-06-01T00:54:57Z some Elvis song stuck in my head Okay, so last nite (well, this morning) at 2:00, the little 6 year old I share a room with woke me up with some snivvely crying about who knows what. Now the kid's been through a lot, I admit, so now I feel bad. I asked him what's wrong (as nicely as can be done that early) and I didn't get an answer, so what should I do but put on my headphones and drown him out? Don't give me that! (I know what some of you are thinking) I'm barely coherant enough at 2 AM to form a sentence let alone go and console a little kid I don't necessarily like in the first place!<br /><br />I would like kids sometime in my distant future... and I feel I'd be a good dad and all, but after a kid's been raised by someone else (whose methods you don't agree with) it's hard to put the effort into fixing them. I'd raisem good.<br /><br />But that's all way in the future. Right now I can barely handle my siblings. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:el_shane:314 2005-05-31T05:48:38Z 2005-05-31T06:17:23Z Muse - Apocalypse Please Well, I made one before, but it lasted what? Two months maybe? Anyways, I just might keep posting on this one. <br /><br />Mmm... sleep sounds good... I s'pose I shall invite some people then head to bed. w00t for me.